The unscripted series will tackle conversation on mental health and on this segment, the pop icon will share details about her experience when she found out that she was pregnant after having non-consensual sex.
The singer shared, “I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off. And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze and I—I don’t even remember.” Then, she burst into tears.
Lady Gaga refused to name the producer and shared that the industry she’s in is abusive and dangerous. She also recalled a time she went to the hospital after feeling pain and numbness and she was surprised that they sent her a psychiatrist instead of a medical doctor.
She said, “First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb. And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner. At my parents’ house because I was vomiting and sick. Because I’d been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.”
She revealed that it led to a “psychotic break” that continued even during the time she accepted her Oscar award for her movie, A Star is Born, two ears ago.
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl. The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped. I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they don’t find nothing. But your body remembers,” she explained.
The musician also talked about dealing with impulses to inflict self-harm. She said, “You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse. You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help.”
In conclusion, she talked how slowly changing has helped her pull out of it.